To Have or Not To Have Traditional Funerals

I just attended a big, traditional, Catholic funeral. It was heart-wrenching. The sobs of my daughter-in-law who has lost her mother brought tears to every eye.
My eyes are red and puffy from 3 protracted days attending the visitation and funeral. I have said that i don’t want to put my own children through the same type of ordeal. I want them to have me instantly cremated, not embalmed and sent to the cemetery where they can have a short memorial service, with a lovely youthful portrait of me smiling on, if any one is left to attend besides my immediate family. I want them to go on a cruise with the money saved and i will watch happily from above or wherever i am in spirit. But……….. am I right? Are the 3 days hovering around the lifeless form in the coffin necessary to ease the separation. I admit, I found it all cathartic. I want to do what is best for the younger generation left behind… so, you tell me……… You won’t like to consider this subject, but it will blind-side you one day, so you may as well start preparing psychologically. We all die, hopefully in the right order, except perhaps for my granddaughter who says that she won’t because she is not old, she’s “new”. I hope she won’t have nightmares after having peered into the deep dank hole that her dear La-La was lowered into before her wondering eyes. sigh.

The Art of Listening

Women have the reputation of being the talkers, but they also know how to listen. Watch two women in a tete-a-tete. One is talking and one is nodding with an intent expression, whether the conversation is about politics or diaper rash . Men, on the other hand, always have to prove they know everything before they are told, so after asking a question of a woman (a rare thing in itself), they then go on to list all possible answers without listening to the woman’s response. Or, they repeat loudly throughout her answer, “Um-hum, um-hum, um-hum,”drowning out the woman’s words and implying that they already knew all of it and are magnanimously bestowing their approval.

I know, I know, the above rant is a gross generalization and does not apply to all men. Over the last 50 years, I have known one or two who knew how to listen and learn from a female speaker.( I don’t think men react the same way to other men though.) What is the corresponding term for mysogenist? Malsogenist? I think i just invented a great new term… for women like me who rant about the shortcomings of men. Don’t accuse me of hating them though. I have been on a quest since i was 15 for my soulmate, the one withwhom I could live happily ever after. I am still looking and don’t intend to give up. There is hope. Eventually we all end up the same sex. Men get boobs, women get hairy chins and chest. The sexes merge or meld into old human beings who start listening to each other and empathizing (or appear to). Gee, I can hardly wait.